Regardless of the many things that I feel like are following through everything in my life.. my tag signature was among them.. Invisible girl...
.. It's so obvious for me that I am the invisible girl that I never actually questioned myself why did I pick this name.. now that it finally hit me, it felt more like a punch in the face than a smack... and to be honest with you guys, it hurts like hell.
I sure was going to get away with it, with a few bruises or maybe a broken bone but I was missing out on the positive thing... I WAS going to get away from it.. and I don't know how I should feel about it.. the invisible me, was a part of me and didn't want to leave, and I didn't want to force anything out because I've already forced many things before and it didn't turn out quite the way I expected them to.. Little did I know.... I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place and either way I was going to get crushed.... I don't think that I'm ready to say goodbye to the Invisible Girl because I can't help myself but feel like that because as much as I tried to convince myself that I wasn't... I was and it was a fact... I should probably do more attempts at socializing...
... all of my thoughts are spinning and I feel like I'm in a carousel that wasn't going to take long to eject me.. I should probably consider changing my name to 'thecatwomangirlnextdoor' because maybe that it was more descriptive of me...?
and then, I finally realized that I was contradicting myself.. I was afraid of changing. Changing is frightening and it personally paralyzes me.. I was a living chicken, stuck in the pre-revolution phase, I felt like I was some sort schizophrenic Judas, that sells myself to my...my scared self. Isn't that ironic ? Betraying myself.
And as history was repeating itself, and among of the many versions of what happened to him, I was going to pay the price of many years of betraying myself through self-doubt and many other insecurities that I was soon going to discover.
I've never been so confused in my whole life, and I was getting dizzy.. but moreover I was going to end that carousel and finally take everything in charge. Maybe that it was the beginning of a new era... maybe not.
Always yours,
Invisible -who's thinking about changing her tag signature- girl.
.. It's so obvious for me that I am the invisible girl that I never actually questioned myself why did I pick this name.. now that it finally hit me, it felt more like a punch in the face than a smack... and to be honest with you guys, it hurts like hell.
I sure was going to get away with it, with a few bruises or maybe a broken bone but I was missing out on the positive thing... I WAS going to get away from it.. and I don't know how I should feel about it.. the invisible me, was a part of me and didn't want to leave, and I didn't want to force anything out because I've already forced many things before and it didn't turn out quite the way I expected them to.. Little did I know.... I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place and either way I was going to get crushed.... I don't think that I'm ready to say goodbye to the Invisible Girl because I can't help myself but feel like that because as much as I tried to convince myself that I wasn't... I was and it was a fact... I should probably do more attempts at socializing...
... all of my thoughts are spinning and I feel like I'm in a carousel that wasn't going to take long to eject me.. I should probably consider changing my name to 'thecatwomangirlnextdoor' because maybe that it was more descriptive of me...?
and then, I finally realized that I was contradicting myself.. I was afraid of changing. Changing is frightening and it personally paralyzes me.. I was a living chicken, stuck in the pre-revolution phase, I felt like I was some sort schizophrenic Judas, that sells myself to my...my scared self. Isn't that ironic ? Betraying myself.
And as history was repeating itself, and among of the many versions of what happened to him, I was going to pay the price of many years of betraying myself through self-doubt and many other insecurities that I was soon going to discover.
I've never been so confused in my whole life, and I was getting dizzy.. but moreover I was going to end that carousel and finally take everything in charge. Maybe that it was the beginning of a new era... maybe not.
Always yours,
Invisible -who's thinking about changing her tag signature- girl.
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