I always thought that running out of inspiration was not a big deal.. I don't think that I have ever been so wrong in my life... I feel like I've been dead for centuries and that I've finally been exhumed... Well I do look like a dead body at the moment... I don't have anything to say, I walk in the clumsiest way possible... and mostly, I physically look like one.. Oh and I'm pale, really really pale.. I guess that there's no difference between me and a corpse.. Is there? Oh, yes.. I have what, us humans, call 'feelings'
It could be due to the fact that I'm lacking of sleep... or.. no I'm definitely lacking of sleep.
Talking about experiences... I'm barely sixteen but I've been through some that scarred me and others that healed the scars.. But I can't seem to find one.. I just usually toss them somewhere in my brain.. and since its whole system just shut down then I'm screwed. Or maybe the inner living chicken inside of me is too scared to unbury them because as lame and cheesy that may sound, my heart was the one carrying all the wounds.. the external and internal ones... it needed time to heal, and I still don't know if it is fully healed...
Or maybe another theory could be that I already know what that experience is and I don't know if I'm ready to share it... I don't know... I'm clueless.. Why do I always have to make things so complicated? And mostly.. Why am I talking to myself in voice over...
I feel like I'm in a carousel right now and that it's full thoughts... they just rudely barged into my reality and made my creativity its bitch. This whole thing blows. Staring at the ceiling and wondering why I can't seem to reach it.. It made me realize how miserable my existence is... But I'm definitely willing to find it.. I needed a push but this time I was going to push myself and I couldn't care less if I was pushing myself out of a cliff because I was still doing it... While writing on my blog...
Hold on a minute.. My blog.. My blog is my experience.. And even though, I had to be pushed, not by myself but by someone else... I got there.. My brain is still shut down, and I still do look like a corpse, but who the hell cares. I know what changed me and I better wear my big girls' pants because even though I was shaking and every ounce of my body was telling me to back off and to hold back, I was going to follow my heart.. and go for it...
Always yours,
--Invisible Girl
It could be due to the fact that I'm lacking of sleep... or.. no I'm definitely lacking of sleep.
Talking about experiences... I'm barely sixteen but I've been through some that scarred me and others that healed the scars.. But I can't seem to find one.. I just usually toss them somewhere in my brain.. and since its whole system just shut down then I'm screwed. Or maybe the inner living chicken inside of me is too scared to unbury them because as lame and cheesy that may sound, my heart was the one carrying all the wounds.. the external and internal ones... it needed time to heal, and I still don't know if it is fully healed...
Or maybe another theory could be that I already know what that experience is and I don't know if I'm ready to share it... I don't know... I'm clueless.. Why do I always have to make things so complicated? And mostly.. Why am I talking to myself in voice over...
I feel like I'm in a carousel right now and that it's full thoughts... they just rudely barged into my reality and made my creativity its bitch. This whole thing blows. Staring at the ceiling and wondering why I can't seem to reach it.. It made me realize how miserable my existence is... But I'm definitely willing to find it.. I needed a push but this time I was going to push myself and I couldn't care less if I was pushing myself out of a cliff because I was still doing it... While writing on my blog...
Hold on a minute.. My blog.. My blog is my experience.. And even though, I had to be pushed, not by myself but by someone else... I got there.. My brain is still shut down, and I still do look like a corpse, but who the hell cares. I know what changed me and I better wear my big girls' pants because even though I was shaking and every ounce of my body was telling me to back off and to hold back, I was going to follow my heart.. and go for it...
Always yours,
--Invisible Girl
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