I always thought that I would never get myself into those kind of situations and I have no idea how I did but it came out of the blue, barged in out of nowhere and here I am, finding myself at 4 in the morning blogging about my dilemmas...
.. Now that my blog isn't as secret and private as I wanted it to be.. I feel like I have to hold back myself... but I won't.. because if I wanted to head straight to my Golden Age as I said before, I had to wear my big girl's pants and that day had finally come....
... It was crystal clear that I was playing with fire and I was well aware of it, but... I know that I'm going to get burned if I keep doing it.. if not totally calcified and there was this part of me that wanted to back up and back off once and for all.. but I can't let go off it...
.. I know for sure that I was playing on a slope that is extremely treacherous, which made me feel guilty.. which is why I'm finding myself blogging at 4 in the morning and that makes me question myself...
I know for a fact that what I'm feeling can be all in my head, but maybe it was not, which doesn't help at all since I'm back to square one ; guilt...
You know that something isn't going right when your life is summed up in Veronica Falls' Bad Feeling... and it was indeed, a bad feeling.. but maybe that bad feeling can get me out of this tunnel and fix the damage from crashing on walls, a few mistakes and blindness ago... I feel like my life is a highway and I needed to be pushed in a direction... Any direction because I was lost, in my thoughts..
... thoughts that are consuming me and taking away from me my precious hours of sleep... I didn't want to be any girl, I want to be THAT girl... I'm done with being second choice, that was the Me In The Stone Age, I had taken a one way ticket to my Renaissance.. and I needed to affirm myself because if I didn't, my life would become a living hell..as if it weren't... me, again, drama-queening at its finest...
I feel like I'm in those kind of songs where I don't know what to do. All that I know is that I'm the leader... whose director was missing..
and then it hit me, I am the leader and the director.... I finally figured out what to do and I was willing to get those thoughts out of my life...
BLOG DOWN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
Always yours,
--Invisible girl
.. I know for sure that I was playing on a slope that is extremely treacherous, which made me feel guilty.. which is why I'm finding myself blogging at 4 in the morning and that makes me question myself...
I know for a fact that what I'm feeling can be all in my head, but maybe it was not, which doesn't help at all since I'm back to square one ; guilt...
You know that something isn't going right when your life is summed up in Veronica Falls' Bad Feeling... and it was indeed, a bad feeling.. but maybe that bad feeling can get me out of this tunnel and fix the damage from crashing on walls, a few mistakes and blindness ago... I feel like my life is a highway and I needed to be pushed in a direction... Any direction because I was lost, in my thoughts..
... thoughts that are consuming me and taking away from me my precious hours of sleep... I didn't want to be any girl, I want to be THAT girl... I'm done with being second choice, that was the Me In The Stone Age, I had taken a one way ticket to my Renaissance.. and I needed to affirm myself because if I didn't, my life would become a living hell..as if it weren't... me, again, drama-queening at its finest...
I feel like I'm in those kind of songs where I don't know what to do. All that I know is that I'm the leader... whose director was missing..
and then it hit me, I am the leader and the director.... I finally figured out what to do and I was willing to get those thoughts out of my life...
BLOG DOWN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
Always yours,
--Invisible girl
No comments:
Post a Comment