Love.. Desire.. Infatuation..

As far as I can remember, I was and always will be a huge book lover, but I don't think that I have ever been touched by any book than the one that I'm currently reading -Committed: A Love Story. As I was reading this chapter where Elizabeth Gilbert was talking about what love and desire is, I couldn't help myself but hear this click inside of me as if she solved the whole mystery of love in few pages.

Love has always been important to me and behind all the walls that I've been putting up, was this hopeless romantic me who always sought for love. I always had this idea of love, which I guess that now, was kind of misconceived on the edges.. actually, on the whole level. After reading the book, I heard my heart audibly sink in such a hallow tandem because there was this part of me who was 'Yes, I finally got it' but the other part was a bit bitter about it, oh boy, I surely was. 

I think that I have finally understood that there is a fine line.. actually a pretty thick line between LOVE and DESIRE.. 

Desire is this sleeping infatuation inside of us, which is very similar to any kind of addiction.. but does it make love an addiction? Or is it the pursue of looking for this other half to make us feel complete that makes us addicted and looking for the narcotic bliss?

Those questions have been wandering my mind during the whole afternoon, mostly after seeing this married couple sitting, drinking coffee and who did not exchange one single word during the whole time they were sitting. 

According to the Greek Mythology, us humans did not look the same the way we look now. Instead, we had two heads, four legs and four arms, which creates a "perfect melding".. that according to Elizabeth G. Then shortly after, we were punished by the 'Gods' by cutting all the double-headed and eight-limbed and cutting the 'perfect melding' because (to make a long story short) when us, humans, tasted happiness and finally got to reach that level of feeling complete, pride kind of got the best of us.

I remain a non-believer towards this whole theory, but the concept makes perfect sense. Ever since we were born, we were always seeking either for a place where to belong, for a person to make us feel complete, kind of like a missing puzzle piece that we've been waiting for our whole life, which explains why we tend to fall for the wrong people, in that case, a puzzle piece that doesn't fit very well the puzzle and who you end up writing songs about at 2 in the morning on your bedroom floor.

Is this why when we reach our thirties and forties, we give up on finding that person and pick a puzzle piece that may not fit perfectly but with whom you'll share a life with respect and faithfulness and security? Why just not get property insurance if this is what we're going to end up with at the end? Am I just being delusional right now?

I don't think that I am making any kind of sense, but I strongly believe that there is nothing better than true love, a passionate one.. and although I could never give anyone the responsibility to make me feel complete, I just can't get of my mind this yearning of meeting this person who will make you happy and who you could do crazy things with and even though it might end up in the worst ways, you can still look back and tell yourself 'What was I thinking?' the answer would probably be 'You just weren't honey'.

Always yours,
In Love With The Idea Of Love-girl.