Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Utmost Confusion.

After a very long time of me missing from the surface of the earth.. maybe just from the "blogging surface".. I shouldn't be drama-queening... Or should I. Everything lately has been going great.. Well maybe not as well as I wished it would. But still. Well, I strongly believe that I am cursed, in this never ending chain of me being heart broken.. At least, I have song-writing, which helps me to go through everything and I have been writing a lot lately, every single frustration I've been through these last few months/weeks, I finally put them in a verse/chorus/verse/bridge/outro song pattern and it feels so good.. Some are really bubbly and peachy and some are just agonizingly sad and depressing... It goes from 'When you'll see million stars crashing, I hope you know that's what you did to me' to 'You took my world and painted in different colors [...] so wildly I loved you' which makes me think that I might be bipolar.

School has been stressing the living chicken out of me but it's okay, each test that doesn't go well, I sit down and have a bit of a chit-chat with myself and say 'It's okay, whatever happens, you'll get to write a song about it".. Maybe I should just put all my thoughts in two categories 'Things I can change' and 'Things I definitely cannot change'.. What if I started talking about the things I can't change. Me losing my best friend. I feel like our friendship has been sort dying lately.. It was being murdered and drowned under the big gap that was taking place between my best friend and I... If our friendship were a piƱata, then it got kicked right in the balls and the way I'm feeling right now is probably the whole candy that fell out of it, except for the fact that what I'm feeling right now ain't so sweet..

I guess, that sometimes people are not meant to get along, things happen and we all have to move on with our lives, although moving on doesn't sound that much of a bad idea. I found myself unable to put what I felt on a three and half minute song on my guitar (I just got a new guitar yee).. Y'know, I always thought that I always loved loneliness but here I found myself lonely as hell... I bet it's the 'revertigo' effect and do not ask me what the 'revertigo' is, I will not be able to explain what it is.

I don't even have the heart to write nor to type.
Always yours,

-Revertigo-ed kinda invisible gal. 

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