Failed Come-Back.

After a long time of being a nomad.. Just kidding, I didn't do much.. Just writing songs, whining over, thinking, visiting small towns (two to be exact) and slamming on my guitar. Still a newbie at this whole guitar thing but things are going pretty well... I guess.. Or I just might be doing it wrong. Well.. Who knows... I should be more serious.. way more serious.

Even though the music that I'm listening to is taking away every ounce of focus I have because I'm both figuratively and literally spinning.. I have a spinning chair and my mind has some weird tendency of spinning with its thoughts and all.


...as weird as this may sound and pathetic and lame.. and all sorts of adjective.. I'm sort of hoping that I will get away from the frustration that has been surrounding me by resorting to my go-to problem method solving-- blogging it out.. I had a blog before this online diary.. actually, to be honest three blogs, and I've been running away from them because people started knowing about -sort of- the double life that I have been managing to live.. and I was doing pretty damn fine until somebody knew that I had a blog. Long story short, I was in a pretty big ass mess because my thoughts and feelings were not supposed to leave my bedroom, my songbook and my laptop.. at least I think that escaping in this parallel universe would liberate me from the whole frustration that has been surrounding me..

...or that I might have created in my head, which makes the frustration slowly sink in.. the ice-berg? my mind.. insecurities, thoughts and many other things that I probably don't even know the existence of..
Since many of you might be wondering why I picked Girl In The Move. Well, before, I used to call myself 'Invisible Girl'..which I still am and probably will remain this way.. Anyway, I picked 'Girl In The Move' because I just might have decided to start moving on. First step? Literally moving.. second step? I really don't know what it is.

Anyway.. I'm just sitting here, staring at the screen and trying to write about what I feel but it was pretty obvious that I was a hack.. Here's what frustrates me ; love and songwriting.. and since both of them are extremely and utmostly (yes, I just made up that word) related in my world.. I seriously end up with the worst cocktail of feelings.. ever. As I was contemplating that wall in front me and couldn't resist staring at my feet and my guitar that was few inches away.. It hit me.. Why does love always have the main topic of my songwriting..? I mean, I do write about self-doubt, insecurities and all but love has always been the first source I'll ever go to, the only feeling that would leave me speechless every time.. The way we fall in love, fall out of love, deal with break-ups, deal with the rushing feelings of being mad, in a toxic relationship, in an on and off relationship always makes me.. so... ugh... I can't even find an appropriate adjective....

If I had to say what I feel.. Well, despite the fact I think that I'm dizzy... That I can barely feel my finger and I'm wondering how the hell am I doing to write without screaming like a new born.. and that I feel like I'm going to explode if this frustration doesn't get the hell out of my mind, I'd say that I'm rocking the house.. not. Being away from my blog allowed me to focus on many things.. or maybe I was lacking of inspiration... or maybe that I was scared to put out all of my creativity in a blog that I'll lack of songwriting inspiration.. but all of those were just theories.. and I just might be lying right now. Maybe that I should probably leave the whole blogging thing for tonight...

Goodnight beautiful world,
Always yours,
--Invisible Girl In The Move.