After a long time of being absent and taking the time that I needed to be inspired and to finally write about personal things due to my post-traumatic blogging session.. I took a cruise.. not the Bora Bora kind of one, more like 'What am I doing with my life' kind of one and the service sucked and I couldn't get refunded... and my little self was the one getting damaged. If that makes sense..
... and also after pouring my whole heart out two or three days ago.. The feeling was still there and I couldn't get rid of it... I was a wreck.. a living wreck who couldn't sleep.. but still a wreck. I didn't know what to blog about.. My life was starting to get boring and I needed some excitement.. and all I did so far was eat chocolate bars... They were good though...
As I sat there while contemplating my mother sleeping.. it hit me.. my life was not boring, I was just traumatized... somehow.. I had poured out everything on my last video and last post and I was leftemotionless .. speechless would be more accurate.
I was avoiding something and that something was haunting me.. have you ever believed in the way that we want something we can't have? Well... I was not going through it.. I was just thinking about.. Intensively because I was extremely confused about my feelings.. But isn't that going through it somehow?
Here's my question : Does it exist to import your feelings from someone to another? I know we never love the same way twice but I was wondering if that was possible.. I really don't need to talk about my love-life.. It was as confusing as a baby Jesus singing The Macarena.. Confusing, huh?
As I was desperately trying to make the whole situation funny, my heart was hurting and I was sort of tired of the pain...
It was 4 in the morning and my brain couldn't stop working... I'm in a beautiful city and it's beautiful outside but I can't help myself but.. to just.. miss someone.. not someone but people.. or I could be lying right now.. Either way, it sucks.. I'm not saying this is about me.. which could.. but also could not...
... I thought that giving myself some time to think about this whole situation would help me clear things up.. but history was repeating itself and I felt like I was stuck in another dimension.. like I was in an extremely bad remake of The Twilight Zone.. Was I just missing that person so much that it lead me to think that he let me down..? Or was this whole thing in my mind? My heart was feeling things that my mind could definitely not translate into words.. It's been a few days since I haven't posted here and.. I would be lying if I said that I have the heart to write...
I was torn between three carousels and I've become my thoughts and fears' bitch and I was willing to stop this once and for all. Although I was soon going to get my body torn in three distinct parts.. Figuratively speaking, of course .. I need to figure this all out.. because I didn't even understand it myself..Maybe it was time to retire from this whole blogging because it's not helping me if not making it worse
Okay.. Maybe I was more confused than I thought I was..
See you soon..
Always yours,
--Invisible
... and also after pouring my whole heart out two or three days ago.. The feeling was still there and I couldn't get rid of it... I was a wreck.. a living wreck who couldn't sleep.. but still a wreck. I didn't know what to blog about.. My life was starting to get boring and I needed some excitement.. and all I did so far was eat chocolate bars... They were good though...
As I sat there while contemplating my mother sleeping.. it hit me.. my life was not boring, I was just traumatized... somehow.. I had poured out everything on my last video and last post and I was left
I was avoiding something and that something was haunting me.. have you ever believed in the way that we want something we can't have? Well... I was not going through it.. I was just thinking about.. Intensively because I was extremely confused about my feelings.. But isn't that going through it somehow?
Here's my question : Does it exist to import your feelings from someone to another? I know we never love the same way twice but I was wondering if that was possible.. I really don't need to talk about my love-life.. It was as confusing as a baby Jesus singing The Macarena.. Confusing, huh?
As I was desperately trying to make the whole situation funny, my heart was hurting and I was sort of tired of the pain...
It was 4 in the morning and my brain couldn't stop working... I'm in a beautiful city and it's beautiful outside but I can't help myself but.. to just.. miss someone.. not someone but people.. or I could be lying right now.. Either way, it sucks.. I'm not saying this is about me.. which could.. but also could not...
... I thought that giving myself some time to think about this whole situation would help me clear things up.. but history was repeating itself and I felt like I was stuck in another dimension.. like I was in an extremely bad remake of The Twilight Zone.. Was I just missing that person so much that it lead me to think that he let me down..? Or was this whole thing in my mind? My heart was feeling things that my mind could definitely not translate into words.. It's been a few days since I haven't posted here and.. I would be lying if I said that I have the heart to write...
I was torn between three carousels and I've become my thoughts and fears' bitch and I was willing to stop this once and for all. Although I was soon going to get my body torn in three distinct parts.. Figuratively speaking, of course .. I need to figure this all out.. because I didn't even understand it myself..
Okay.. Maybe I was more confused than I thought I was..
See you soon..
Always yours,
--Invisible
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